welcome
to yoururl.blogspot.com
be my escape- relient k
I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.
I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You
So were You
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Title:
Comments:
I don't know why school has the effect that it does or how it exerts its effect, but hell, it's sucking the energy right out of me. And it's only been 3 days. I dread to think about the next few months, though I'm not sure if it's because of how tiring it's going to get or because I know that I'll most probably be slacking and doing everything else instead of studying.
Yawns.
CCA open house today. Saw a few experienced players, and many sporty types so there's some cause for joy. But then again, it all comes down to whether or not they'll stay after the 1st 3 months that's important to us. Many times today I felt indignent that they would dismiss us as another neighbourhood school or at the way they bulked and screamed no when we asked if they were considering staying in pj. But when I opened my mouth, I realised that there was pretty much nothing that I could say....or wanted to say.
I mean. I love pj, I do. I love my teams (both of them), my friends, my classmates, some teachers and all the times I've spent with them. I love the beautiful memories I have of my time in college so far, and all the opportunities I've been given. But sometimes, you just wished you were somewhere else. I guess some reason (or maybe a lot) for this sentiment is the fact that junior college is unlike anything I've ever came across, and much tougher than I ever thought possible. But there's a small part of me that festers with disappointment at what we don't have. We don't have a school that supports the sports teams, or pretty much any team that goes out to compete. It's so unlike the atmosphere I've grew up in, when tournments and competitions were followed with much enthusiusm and victories (and losses) greeted with applause for a job well done. And one can get pretty jealous when you see what the other schools have.
I don't know. There's a lot more I want to say, but then again, somehow I don't feel like talking about it. I guess everything has a reason, and the school management has a reason for acting the way it has, but I just hope that the reason.....is worth all... these. I don't know how to describe it. Heartache? Apathy? Disappointment? Indifference? Emotions? Sadness? Bitterness? I guess it's just sad that so many of us have come to expect this of such issues.
Goodnight.
